Mariah Carey Defrosted Again — And So Did Our Holiday Panic

A festive journey through holiday burnout, shrinking wallets, nostalgic wishful thinking, and the looming January plot twist.

If you walked into a store this week, heard “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and felt a mix of cheer, dread, and the sudden urge to hibernate until April — congratulations, you're alive in America in the 2020s.

Look, we love Mariah. She earned her diva badge. She sings like she invented oxygen.
But at this point, that song feels like the holiday version of software updates:
“Remind me later” → “Remind me later” → suddenly it’s playing everywhere and you’re wondering how we got here again.

It’s not that the song is bad. It's just that after 29 seasons in a row, even a classic starts to feel like it’s haunting us with glitter-covered inevitability.
Like that one coworker who keeps bringing microwaved fish — we respect you, but please, we need a break.

The Most Expensive Holiday Ever (Again)

As that familiar jingle kicks in, so does the math. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s… the “Financial Trifecta of Doom.”

Turkey?
Up.
Eggnog?
Up.
Flights to see family?
Only if you enjoy selling a kidney or bartering with your airline points like they’re post-apocalyptic currency.

The American holiday season has become a video game level where the difficulty setting secretly jumps from “Normal” to “Boss Fight” without warning.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, food prices have risen steadily since 2020 — about 25% cumulative for many household staples. Travel costs? Domestic airfare climbed roughly 22% from pre-pandemic levels. And gift budgets?
They now feel like a negotiation between your heart and your credit limit.

“All I want for Christmas is… to not check my bank app.”

Can We Get a ‘Throwback Holiday Season’ Please?

Remember early-2000s Black Friday?
Lines at 5am, cheap DVD players, and the absolute chaos of two grown adults wrestling over a Furby at Walmart?

Now everything is “Doorbuster Pricing… that we quietly marked up last week.”
Thanks, we guess?

If retailers truly wanted to spread cheer, they’d go full déjà vu and give us 2001 pricing for one month.
Picture it:

• $150 game consoles
• $12 sweaters
• $1.99 gas (alright, we're dreaming but let us cook)

It wouldn’t just boost morale — it’d be like a national group hug with coupons.

Retailers made record profits through inflation.
Imagine the PR glow if they did a “Rewind Sale.”
We'd forgive every self-checkout mishap instantly.

The January Plot Twist

We celebrate, we sparkle, we survive December… then wake up January 2nd like:

“Wait, the economy didn’t magically reset at midnight?”

Spoiler: 2026 isn’t arriving on a sleigh of guaranteed comfort.

Economists are projecting a slow job recovery in multiple sectors, especially tech and media, as automation increases hiring hesitancy.
The National Association for Business Economics recently noted that 41% of economists expect slower hiring into next year, with tech automation and cost-cutting still dominating strategy decks.

Translation:
AI isn’t stealing all the jobs — but it's definitely waiting by the coat rack, sniffing around HR’s inbox.

And let’s not ignore the election hangover. After one of the most unpredictable political seasons in recent memory, the national mood feels like we just finished binge-watching a show with too many plot twists and no emotional closure.

We’re walking into 2026 like,
“So… what's the vibe now?”

A Holiday Wish That Isn’t Wrapped in Tinsel

Here’s the honest truth wrapped in sarcasm — because that’s the only wrapping paper we can afford this year:

We don’t need miracles.
We need breathing room.
Financially, emotionally, socially… and yes, musically.

It’s okay to laugh at the chaos, roll your eyes at the jingles, and still cling to warm moments.
We deserve softness in a sharp world.

And if retailers decide to be real-life Santas instead of “Green Friday Event Sponsored by Corporate Efficiency Optimization”…

or, you know, giant corporate thugs moonlighting for Grinchmas Co. with devilish grins stamped on every cardboard box they ship…

that’d be great too.

The Quarter Post

— Jonny Baker, blogger
For entertainment purposes
(The Quarter Post is a thought-starter publication exploring culture, tech, and modern life. We ask questions; you bring the answers.)